The new guy
by MistyxKisame
Summary: Joe is looking after Steve's house while he is gone off to college.What happens is utter chaos!Rated T for Joe's mouth and violence.Not trying to bash anybody just having fun.
1. Chapter 1

My first ever Blue's clues story! Featuring the guy who took over Steve's place, when he left for "college". I think his name is Joe. Right? Anyways this story starts around when Steve is leaving to go to "College" and is telling Joe what he's supposed to do and all that stuff. Are they brothers or cousins? Well they're brothers in this story.

* * *

"Be nice to Joe okay, Blue?" Blue nodded in response to Steve's statement.

"Joe do you have to go?" asked Mrs. Pepper.

"Yes I have to go to college."

"But you can go to college here!" said Tickety.

"Sorry but I'll learned better there."

"Please don't go Steve!" shouted the kids. "We love you Steve."

"Sorry kids. I have to go, but don't worry! My brother Steve will be here!"

"We don't want Joe! We want you!" said Pail.

"Yeah don't go!" said Periwinkle.

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Listen I know you guys don't want me to go but I HAVE TO FREAKIN' GO. Do you understand?"

"No." everyone said together.

DING DONG!

"OH THANK GOD! I mean there's Joe!" Steve ran to the door and opened the door.

"What's up Steve?" Joe was too busy texting on his phone to pay any attention to what he was supposed to be looking after.

"Hey Joe. Let me show you around the house." Steve then proceeded to show Joe around the house.

"Ah huh…yep yep sure…" Joe repeated this over and over when Steve said something.

"And that's the whole house…" Steve looked at his brother who was still on his phone. "You didn't hear not one word I said…"

"Nope…" Joe continued texting.

Steve sighed. "Guys can you help Joe…"

"Yes!" the kids said in unison.

"OK BYE!" Steve left.

"Ok…done!" Joe stopped texting on his phone. "Ok what now Steve?" he looked around. "Steve? Steve? Damn where's Steve?"

The children gasped and three fainted. "Such foul language!"

"HOW THE FUCK DID ALL OF YOU MIDGETS GET IN HERE?"

"Our ears!" the kids covered them up.

"Excuse me Mr. Joe but you aren't supposed to say bad words in front of the kids…or us" said Periwinkle.

"Whatever…sooooo…what am I supposed to do?"

Suddenly Blue came up with a bag of dog food. "Woof!"

"OH MY GOD! A BLUE DOG! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! NOOOOO!" Joe got out a bat and started to try beat up Blue with it.

"Blue! Blue! Blue!" said the kids.

"YEAH I KNOW IT'S BLUE!"

"No BLUE you ding dong!" shouted one of the kids. "That's Steve's dog!"

"I DON'T CARE!"

"No, she's supposed to blue you dunce!"

"Oh…but still…" he still tried to hit Blue. "I HATE DOGS!"

"Arf arf!" Blue ran off.

"Man I'm hungry!" Joe walked towards the kitchen.

In the kitchen were Mrs. Pepper and Mrs. Salt making sandwiches while Paprika and Cinnamon were playing cars. Joe saw them and screamed.

"AAAAAAAH!" Joe screamed. "ROBOTS!"

"We're not robots! I'm Mrs. Pepper and this is Mr. Salt. And those are our children Paprika and Cinnamon."

"Those are some retarded names for some children." Joe rolled his eyes and then reached for a sandwich but his hand was slapped away by Mrs. Pepper's wooden spoon. "What the 'h' Pepper?"

"Sense you want to be so rude, no sandwiches for you."

"Lady I'm the boss of you and all of these fools living here! I'm gonna pick up one of these sandwiches and I swear if you pop me with that dang spoon I'm gonna do something so dang violent…" as Joe said this he was reaching for a sandwich. Mrs. Pepper popped him with a spoon extremely hard. "OW YOU LITTLE FAT PIGGY SON OF A CRISPY CREAM FRUITY BALLON!"

Joe threw Mrs. Pepper into the wall as hard as he could which was not very hard since his hand was on fire. He then turned to Mr. Salt and kids.

"YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS!" Joe yelled.

"YOU THREW MY WIFE!" Mr. Salt whined.

"NOW YOU CAN JOIN HER!" he threw him too.

"Uh we don't want any!" said Paprika.

"THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!"

Joe went into the living room and sat in…OH NO! Steve's thinking chair! All of the children started screaming for Joe not to sit in Steve's special chair.

"What do you pests want?"

"That's STEVE'S chair!"

"This huge soft comfortable thing I'm already relaxed in and refuse to move from? That chair?"

"YES!"

"WELL THIS IS MY CHAIR BECAUSE STEVE'S NOT HERE!" Joe snuggled down into the seat. "Mine…"

* * *

Will anyone be able to get used to Joe? Will we ever get to play Blue's clues? Turn in next time! R&R


	2. Chapter 2

"Arf! Arf!" Joe looked down to see Blue with a leash.

"What the fuck do you want?" Joe growled.

"Arf! Arf! Arf!" answered Blue.

"I don't know what the hell 'arf' means, but as long as my name is Steve…I mean Joe…I WILL ALWAYS HATE DOGS! NOW GET!" before Steve could kick Blue to the moon and back, the kids did Blue a favor she would be forever grateful for.

"Maybe she wants to take a walk!" said one boy.

"SHE WALKS ALL DAY!"

"No!" they all said at once. "She wants to go walk OUTSIDE!"

"Then why didn't ya say so in the first place?" Joe rolled his eyes and walked off with the kids and Blue behind him. Joe opened the door. "Okay…what are you waiting for? Go!"

"You have to walk her outside on a leash!"

"Why can't you do it?"

"Because you're taking care of her until Steve-WHO WE MISS ALREADY!-comes back!"

"…"

"HE'S PAYING YOU FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

"OH YEAH!" Joie then put on Blue's leash on walked outside.

Three minutes into the walk, they saw Miranda (Magenta's owner right?) and Magenta. Joe nearly had a heart attack. She was so gorgeous in his eyes. Joe just knew he had to talk to her.

"Hi!" she said cheerfully. "I'm Miranda! You must be Steve's brother. He's told me so much about you!"

"Hey baby did you just fart, 'cause you just blew me away!" Joe said coolly.

"What?" Miranda frowned.

"Hey, don't frown – you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile." Joe smirked. 'I've got her now.'

"Uh…I'm just going to go now…it was nice meeting you…"

Just as she turned, Joe grabbed her butt. "Is this seat taken?"

"I have a boyfriend." She said just glaring at him even though she wanted to punch him in the face. After all, she had to set an example for Magenta.

"Yeah…ME!"

"No…YOUR BROTHER." She was the one smirking now.

"Oh…"

As she was a good 4 feet away, Joe called out to her, "Hey aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?" said she looked.

"Me!"

Forgetting about setting an example for Magenta, Miranda picked up a rock and threw it as hard as she could at Joe, but sadly, she missed and hit Blue.

"AHAHAHHAHAHA! YOU MISSED BITCH!" Joe then flung the unconscious Blue over his shoulder, picked up a rock, hit Magenta, and took off running. The police would later find him drinking Vodka in a cardboard box with a hobo.


End file.
